


Catch Me, I'm Falling

by LowInHighSchool



Series: Love More Worry Less [5]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Suicidal Ideation, bipolar character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 15:20:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10619679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LowInHighSchool/pseuds/LowInHighSchool
Summary: I'm too high for this but this is the last one in the series. Fml.





	

**Author's Note:**

> *internal screaming* so yeah, this is the last one in the series. Hope you've enjoyed! If anyone has any prompts or anything hmu *disappears into the void*

Overall, Granit was feeling better nowadays. An increase in his anti-depressant had worked wonders and Oli had helped too. Sure, he still had bad days but they were few and far between.

“Oh I invited Shkodran and Mesut round, I hope that’s ok” Oli says, looking up from the couch.

“That’s fine”

Shkodran and Mesut arrive 15 minutes later and they have a fifa tournament. Granit tries to focus and have fun but somewhere along the line the bad thoughts had come back. He thought they had stopped.

Why are you even still here?

They’re not your friends.

He doesn’t love you.

He tries to ignore them, he knows it’s bullshit but the thoughts just won’t shut up. Eventually he excuses himself and goes to the bathroom.

“Why won’t you just leave me alone?” He says out loud, punching the nearest surface. His hand hurt slightly but it didn’t look like he’d done any real damage.

Why don’t you just kill yourself

You can’t even do that right

Instinctively, he goes to the cupboard where the painkillers are. Secretly he’d been saving up, just in case. He had a good few packets in there now. That would be enough. Maybe…No! He couldn’t. What about Oli? And the team? Sighing, he opens one of the packets, just to see. It was tempting. Everything would be so much easier if he wasn’t here. He starts taking the painkillers out of the packet but he’s interrupted by the door opening. He mustn’t have locked it.

“Oh, sorry” Shkodran says.

“It’s ok”

“What are you doing?” Shkodran sees the painkillers in Granit’s hand and something tells him to worry.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it”

“Come on, come back downstairs”

“I’ll be down in a minute” He really did need the toilet now.

“Give me those”

“If I have to” He reluctantly hands over the packet of painkillers.

“And the rest” Shkodran says.

Granit gets the others out of the cupboard and gives them to him.

“Thank you”

Shkodran goes back downstairs, mind racing. He was glad he walked in when he did or god knows what would’ve happened.

“Was he up there?” Oli asks.

“Yeah, he was…I think he was about to…” He shows them the painkillers.

“Oh” 

“I got him to give me these, does he have anything else up there?”

“Not that I know of” Oli says “I was hoping this would’ve stopped”

“Me too. He has seemed better recently” Mesut says.

“Yeah. It comes and goes I suppose”

“What do we do now?” Shkodran asks.

“I don’t know” Oli admits “I think he should talk to someone”

“That might help”

“It helped when he was younger. It’s just convincing him to go”

“That may be hard”

Granit walks into the living room.

“Hey. Sorry”

“Granit. I think we need to talk” Oli says “Sit down”

Granit sits next to his boyfriend.

“Bad thoughts still?”

“Kinda”

“I…We. We think you should speak to someone”

Shkodran and Mesut nod.

“Yeah. I think I should too”

This was a bad sign. For Granit to actually admit he needed help? Things must be pretty bad.

“I’ll go with you” Oli says “Get your doctor to refer you”

“I will. I’ll go tomorrow”

“Thank you. Is there anything we can do to help?”

Granit shakes his head “Just having you here helps. And he took all my painkillers” He gestures to Shkodran.

“I’m going to throw them away” Shkodran says.

“If you must”

“So you’re not tempted”

“Can we carry on playing now?”

They look at each other.

“Ok” Oli says.

 

True to his word, Granit makes a doctor’s appointment the next day. After a long conversation, the doctor refers him to a therapist “who will be in touch”. Granit thanks him and goes to find Oli.

“So?” Oli asks.

“He referred me. I should hear in a few weeks”

“That’s good. I’m glad you went”

“Honestly. So am I. Will you come with me to therapy?”

“Of course”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this again”

“It helped last time, it should help now”

“Yeah, I guess”

 

2 months and several therapy sessions later and Granit’s feeling much better. He’s taught coping strategies which at first annoyed him but when it came down to it, they helped. Just talking to someone about his thoughts helped and another change of meds seemed to do the trick. For once in his life he was feeling balanced, maybe things would be ok.


End file.
